Hellraiser was my first horror movie. At least, first one I distinctly remember watching. I may have seen other scary movies before it, but this was the fist of the famous franchises I was exposed to. I have fond memories of watching the first and third movies in the series on rented VHS one Christmas morning. That was a good holiday. I think that because of this exposure early in my horror viewing days (which was later in my life than for many, I was in my early 20's) I have a special place in my heart for creepy S&M style demons and incredible supernatural gore.
Hellraiser: My first horror movie ever. What a way to start what has become an obsession with the genre. This thing is brutal. Truly amazing effects on it, which stand up even today. Probably even more so than normal, given the surfeit of cgi as compared to the practical effects used for this. Basic plot is guy moves into his old family home, his dead brother escapes from hell a bit at a time, and the wife commits murder to facilitate the escape. Interestingly enough, the cenobites which have come to represent the series are practically non-existent in this entry. They serve more as a plot device toward the end than a real antagonist. Still, gotta love this movie. It has some lovely camera work, good use of tension, and some of the best (and most graphic) use of makeup I have ever seen. This will always hold a special place in my heart. You never forget your first love, after all. New Cenobites: Pinhead, Chatterer, Butterball, Female Cenobite, The Engineer.
Hellraiser: Hellbound: Taking place immediately following the last movie (but with better hair), this is a very good sequel. Thematically, it follows the general plot of the original. Bad person brought back with the blood of someone else, does bad things, hell is unleashed. This time the bad person is not the uncle, but his lover. The instrument of the release is an evil psychiatrist. All in all, very much the same as the first movie, with an equal amount of gore and fantastic effects. The cenobites play a larger role this time around too. We learn the origin of Pinhead, and see glimpses of who the other cenobites were as well. The most shocking is the implication that Chatter was a young boy. The really shocked me, in a good way. I give this high marks for staying true to a winning formula. New Cenobites: Dr. Channard.
Hellraiser: Hell on Earth: After the last movie, where the cenobites have been set free of their tasks, we have a distinct lack of enemies for the series. Lucky for us, the Hollywood movie system has a way around that. In this movie, we find out that Pinhead was not destroyed as much as split. His human soul is now in whatever realm they go to after being freed from being a hellish S&M demon while his evil is personified as a more extreme version of Pinhead. Trapped in a sculpture, he is of course freed and all kinds of shit goes down. I like how they explain the excuse for another sequel, even if it is unnecessary. I also like how they end the movie in a way that allows for more movies if they so choose (and choose they did). The cenobites in this movie are pretty clever, being nice reflections of the personalities of those they once were. Not really a good explanation for why they become, since it was implied in the first couple movies that the transformation was more willing than this. Ah well. Enjoyable movie. New Cenobites: Pistonhead, Camerahead, Dreamer, CD, Barbie.
Hellraiser: Bloodline: I love me a good back story. I remember watching this movie years ago, when it first came out on VHS. I loved it back then. Now that I have a bit more movie watching under my belt, going back was a painful experience. You know you are in for a bad movie when you see the director is "Alan Smithee." For those not in the know, that is the official pseudonym for a director who wishes to disavow all connection to a movie. A film has to be pretty bad for that to happen, usually. This movie starts int eh far future on a space station where a robot is used to open the Lament Configuration. We then get to have some plot exposition leading to flashbacks showing the history of the box. Well, kind of. We get the story of how the box was created, and how it was initially used to summon a demon. Then we jump to the present and see the descendant of the original toymaker who created the box being tormented by said demon in a building that is decorated to look like the puzzle box (an allusion to the last film). Then back to the future to watch a bunch of soldiers get killed before the space station is transformed into a larger version of the box, which is used to destroy the cenobites once and for all. More of an anthology movie than a linear plot, the opening sequence is too short while the second is too long. The finale feels to deus ex machina for my taste, and we don't get a feel for why Pinhead is even a part of any of this at all. I also have to wonder how Pinhead, who seemingly only existed since World War I, knows Angelique who was summoned from hell centuries before. New Cenobites: Angelique, Chatter Beast, Siamese Twins.
Hellraiser: Inferno: A really quite decent allegorical tale of a bad cop's decent into madness. Initially starting as an investigation of a violent crime, the movie spirals into the realm of the surreal and horrific as the cop tries to hunt down the mastermind behind a string of violent crimes. To make the hunt even more desperate, there is the indication that a child is being tortured and mutilated with each crime committed. It is a race against time to stop the crimes and save the unknown child. As the movie goes along, you find that things are not what they seem and it all ties back to the cop. A great movie, really, with a well handled plot and some pretty deep meaning behind it all. It just ain't Hellraiser. Other than a couple random cenobite kind of things which are really not important or meaningful tot he plot at all and a token Pinhead appearance toward the end, there is no reason to have made this Hellraiser at all. It's almost like someone saw the script for this movie, thought it would be good but was worried they couldn't sell it on its own merits, so they just tossed in some demons and a puzzle box and called it good. A shame really, since it detracts from what was an otherwise enjoyable movie as well as reducing the overall meaning behind the franchise itself. New Cenobites: Torso, Wire Twins.
Hellraiser: Hellseeker: Similar to the previous entry into the series, this movie seems more like a decent script that had some Hellraiser shoehorned in to make it sell. A husband and wife are in an accident, following which the husband cannot remember things clearly. Throughout the movie, there are glimpses of what he remembers, as well as quick cuts between alternate events of reality. Things like people dying, then not being dead. Or, him being in one place, then waking up in a place he was in a few scenes earlier. Some decent attempts to mess with the mind of the protagonist as well as the viewer. Then we get the final act cenobites and forced revelation of a puzzle box. While the ending of the movie is 100% reliant on Hellraiser and the greater storyline therein, it is not hard to imagine the original plot having a similar alternative that didn't require Pinhead or Kirsty Cotton. Sad to see the franchise falling apart so bad.. New Cenobites: Bound, Stitch, Surgeon.
Hellraiser: Deader: Well, on the plus side, this movie ties more fully into the Hellraiser mythos. Barely. More so than the last couple movies, but still only in a tangential sort of way. I have to be honest, I just finished watching this movie and I still don't think I fully understand what was supposed to be going on. Something about a guy bringing dead people back to life, who may be a descendant of the toymaker responsible for the box. I think he is supposed to be the villain, except he doesn't really do anything bad. Yeah, he has a cult of people who worship him and he convinced them all to kill themselves. But, he also has genuine miracles he can perform and none of them stay dead. So, kind of hard to find him all that bad. Less evil than the cenobites, who will torture and kill you for opening their puzzle box, which the want you to do. Not a great reward for doing what they ask, is it? Anyhow, it all ends in some blood and death and an explosion. Relatively entertaining, i guess. New Cenobites: Bound II, Little Sister, Chatterer III.
Hellraiser: Hellworld: So, Hellraiser without the cenobites? Hasn't really been done since the original. Yeah, the other sequels have a low cenobite count, but this one literally has none. Funny thing is, there are more Pinhead appearances in this one than on the last three sequels combined. He just isn't real. What we get instead is a Hellraiser themed, LSD induced, teen slasher film. Which is pretty enjoyable in and of itself. Just like the other direct-to-video sequels, this is a movie that could have prospered without the Hellraiser tie ins. It's a pretty decent movie with a pretty straightforward plot for the most part. In fact, it is one of the few movies in the horror genre I have seen in recent years that actually didn't have me guessing the ending early on. So, good movie if it wasn't for the attempt to shoehorn in Pinhead and friends. New Cenobites: None
Hellraiser: Revelation: So, a new Hellraiser. One in a long line of direct-to-video sequels to keep the franchise "alive." This one is nothing special. We get some video of a couple guys playing with the puzzle box, meeting Pinhead, and the usual end result. The rest of the movie takes place at a dinner where the families of the two boys are getting together to bond over their shared loss. They know their sons are missing, but not what happened to them. Then one of the two missing dudes comes back. the rest of the movie is a mix of flashbacks to what happened to the two when they were in Mexico and the events of the reappearance of the missing guy. Kind of a mix of a mystery, found footage, and Hellraiser. Overall, it is a passable movie. Nothing new or groundbreaking, though there is a kind of creepy incest scene that sort of wigged me out a bit. Big reveal is one that shouldn't surprise anyone. It does end in a way where they could do a sequel off of this one, which might be something worth seeing. Overall, just filler until a real Hellraiser can be done again. New Cenobites: Pinhead (revamped)
So, big picture, this franchise is pretty much my favorite of the big horror series out there. It was my first, as I said before. While most of the sequels have not been that great as Hellraiser movies, they are all pretty fun as movies in and of themselves. All of the direct-to-video ones were pretty much tapping into the latest fad at the time they were released, with a Hellraiser theme over the top to help sell them. I can say that the first 4 movies stand alone pretty well as a series. After that, the sequels are more independant than key piece of the whole.
I think, overall, the story of Pinhead is pretty well done in the original theatrical ones. You have the introduction to the mythology, further exploration of it (as well as the origin of Pinhead), the result of Pinhead's being severed from his host, and the finale telling the story of the box as well as the end of the epic. A decent story arc.
Regardless, I look forward to the new remake/reboot...whenever it is finally made.
Monday, June 11, 2012
Sunday, August 14, 2011
'Til Death Do Us Part
DEATH BY RUBE GOLDBERG!
Final Destination: A class of high school students is going on a trip to Paris. The plane takes off, and everyone dies. The End. Or not...turns out it was all a dream. Until it starts to happen. Cue airplane freakout, a handful of people getting kicked off, and the plane exploding as predicted. Now death wants to get the people that escaped. What follows is a series of convoluted deaths, an FBI investigation, and the inevitable twist ending. Like I said, the deaths are sometimes a bit convoluted, but they are all fun to watch. There are so many things happening during the death scene, it is almost a game to see what the eventual demise will be. There is also an interesting plot development where if you manage to avoid your death, you are skipped over for the next person on the list.
Final Destination 2: A group of friends are going on a trip when a horrific pileup on the freeway kills them all. Except it is all a premonition again. A bunch of people who were meant to die end up living, and are now marked for death. This time, they are dying in reverse order to when they should have died in the accident. Once again, we have convoluted and insane deaths happening. Some fun gore on a couple too (loved the window pane best of all). This time, the way to stop death is to have new life that was not meant to be. A pregnant woman who should have died in the crash much give birth for all to live. The only movie to have a returning survivor in it, this is a pretty good sequel that takes the ideas of the original and twists them.
Final Destination 3: High school seniors at an amusement park die on a roller coaster, except they don't. Death stalks them all, killing them in order. This time around, however, there are clues as to how they will die. Each had a picture taken that gave cryptic hints as to what their eventual fate would be. Now we have the3 fun game of not only trying to remember who dies when, but also trying to figure out what the picture will mean in the end. The deaths are not quite as "rube goldberg" as the other movies, but are equally fun due to to addition of having a clue about the impending doom.
The Final Destination: The usual beginning. Horrible accident at a racetrack that is just a premonition. More deaths of a crazy and convoluted variety. Honestly, this one was sort of forgettable. I had to look up the movie online to remember what the major deaths were. While I liked the death in the pool, and the escalator death was a nice image from the trailer, the majority of this was sort of uneventful in my mind. I do like how the end was a nice twist on the usual tropes of the movies. I think this movie more than likely was relying on the 3D gags to work, but I saw it in 2D on DVD, so I missed those. All the better for me, I think, as I hate 3D that relies on gags.
Final Destination 5: A return to the basics. A bunch of people are going on a business retreat (though they all look far too young to be executives) when a bridge collapses. Thanks to the inevitable premonition, they survive. One difference here is that the premonition doesn't give nearly the same amount of prep time as normal. Not that it matters, since everyone who tries to gets away and we know they will all be dying anyhow. We get more of the convoluted deaths, some of which are incredibly fun. We also find out that, in this case, death will let you live if you take the life of another. Basically, you kill a person when you are marked to die and you get their years. This makes for an odd turn later in the movie, but I can forgive that small issue. The final ending is also quite fun, tying the movie in with the rest of the series nicely.
Overall, I love this series. Decent plot development. Fun gore gags. Interesting game of guessing just how each death will happen, as well as trying to remember what order they should occur in. Good use of premonitions and hints of future events. All in all, a great franchise that I would be ok with seeing more added to. My only real complaint is the last two movies have been done in 3D. I am not a big fan of the 3D craze, and find some of the techniques used to be pandering rather than necessary. I hope that this fad will die down before another of these comes out. Otherwise, loving this series.
Final Destination: A class of high school students is going on a trip to Paris. The plane takes off, and everyone dies. The End. Or not...turns out it was all a dream. Until it starts to happen. Cue airplane freakout, a handful of people getting kicked off, and the plane exploding as predicted. Now death wants to get the people that escaped. What follows is a series of convoluted deaths, an FBI investigation, and the inevitable twist ending. Like I said, the deaths are sometimes a bit convoluted, but they are all fun to watch. There are so many things happening during the death scene, it is almost a game to see what the eventual demise will be. There is also an interesting plot development where if you manage to avoid your death, you are skipped over for the next person on the list.
Final Destination 2: A group of friends are going on a trip when a horrific pileup on the freeway kills them all. Except it is all a premonition again. A bunch of people who were meant to die end up living, and are now marked for death. This time, they are dying in reverse order to when they should have died in the accident. Once again, we have convoluted and insane deaths happening. Some fun gore on a couple too (loved the window pane best of all). This time, the way to stop death is to have new life that was not meant to be. A pregnant woman who should have died in the crash much give birth for all to live. The only movie to have a returning survivor in it, this is a pretty good sequel that takes the ideas of the original and twists them.
Final Destination 3: High school seniors at an amusement park die on a roller coaster, except they don't. Death stalks them all, killing them in order. This time around, however, there are clues as to how they will die. Each had a picture taken that gave cryptic hints as to what their eventual fate would be. Now we have the3 fun game of not only trying to remember who dies when, but also trying to figure out what the picture will mean in the end. The deaths are not quite as "rube goldberg" as the other movies, but are equally fun due to to addition of having a clue about the impending doom.
The Final Destination: The usual beginning. Horrible accident at a racetrack that is just a premonition. More deaths of a crazy and convoluted variety. Honestly, this one was sort of forgettable. I had to look up the movie online to remember what the major deaths were. While I liked the death in the pool, and the escalator death was a nice image from the trailer, the majority of this was sort of uneventful in my mind. I do like how the end was a nice twist on the usual tropes of the movies. I think this movie more than likely was relying on the 3D gags to work, but I saw it in 2D on DVD, so I missed those. All the better for me, I think, as I hate 3D that relies on gags.
Final Destination 5: A return to the basics. A bunch of people are going on a business retreat (though they all look far too young to be executives) when a bridge collapses. Thanks to the inevitable premonition, they survive. One difference here is that the premonition doesn't give nearly the same amount of prep time as normal. Not that it matters, since everyone who tries to gets away and we know they will all be dying anyhow. We get more of the convoluted deaths, some of which are incredibly fun. We also find out that, in this case, death will let you live if you take the life of another. Basically, you kill a person when you are marked to die and you get their years. This makes for an odd turn later in the movie, but I can forgive that small issue. The final ending is also quite fun, tying the movie in with the rest of the series nicely.
Overall, I love this series. Decent plot development. Fun gore gags. Interesting game of guessing just how each death will happen, as well as trying to remember what order they should occur in. Good use of premonitions and hints of future events. All in all, a great franchise that I would be ok with seeing more added to. My only real complaint is the last two movies have been done in 3D. I am not a big fan of the 3D craze, and find some of the techniques used to be pandering rather than necessary. I hope that this fad will die down before another of these comes out. Otherwise, loving this series.
A Hunger Satisfied
I don't remember how I heard about these movies. I just know I found a bundle for them at Walmart and bought them off of some half remembered memory of the name.
Feast: What we have here is a goofy movie with an interesting premise. A bar of random people, each given a silly nickname and bio as they are introduced, is attacked by a group of monsters. Said monsters seem to be motivated by two things: eating and procreating. Base emotions but a workable motivation. What follows the initial attack is a series of the usual arguments, gross out effects, and the eventual survival of a small handful of protagonists. Overall, a decently fun movie. I did appreciate the fact that they play with assumptions with actors and roles in the movie. To say more on that would spoil the fun.
Feast 2: Sloppy Seconds: Taking place the day after the first movie, we have the beasts taking on a nearby small town. The survivors of the last movie are back (minus the two bigger actors, who I assume were to expensive to rehire). Along for the ride are a set of new characters to watch and hate. Really, not a lot of likable characters in this one at all. We get more of the stupid nickname/bio stuff, more monster vomit melting people, and more monster cum shots. This time around, there is more of a lowbrow humor than the last, as well as less of the horror element. Part of that is due to actually seeing the creatures better this time around. The movie has a sort of anticlimactic ending, where it all leads up to something that doesn't happen. Still fun, but less than the last entry.
Feast 3: The Happy Finish: Once again, set immediately after the last movie. once again full of bios, vomit melt, and monster semen. Survivors of the last movie, with the requisite surprising return, try to escape town. This time there is the indication that the monsters can be controlled. Kind of an interesting plot element. This movie is also the worst of the bunch. Nearly no horror, almost all camp. I mean, we have an action star who loses his arms and is told to walk it off. Let me reiterate...he loses his arms, survives this, and is told to stop complaining about little things like that. Blech. One thing I had a love/hate relationship with was the ending. It was funny, and random. It also felt like the writers had no idea what to do with the thing, so they tossed some random element in and called it good.
A movie series that started out strong, and lost steam as the movies went along. It could almost have been a Troma series, if the production values and humor had been worse. I like how the movie started with a decent motivation for the monsters (revenge plus primal nature). I like how the first movie feels like a good monster siege with some interesting twists. I do not like how the following movies proceeded to lose that edge in favor of fart and sex jokes. I do not like how the initial revenge motivation just sort of drops off in favor of stereotyped characters and stupid jokes. I sort of like the ending of the last one, in that it makes me laugh when I think of it. But, I also dislike it for making me laugh when I want to be thoughtful or intrigued after a horror movie. overall, i can't say these are worth picking up. Maybe netflix or something if you are bored.
Feast: What we have here is a goofy movie with an interesting premise. A bar of random people, each given a silly nickname and bio as they are introduced, is attacked by a group of monsters. Said monsters seem to be motivated by two things: eating and procreating. Base emotions but a workable motivation. What follows the initial attack is a series of the usual arguments, gross out effects, and the eventual survival of a small handful of protagonists. Overall, a decently fun movie. I did appreciate the fact that they play with assumptions with actors and roles in the movie. To say more on that would spoil the fun.
Feast 2: Sloppy Seconds: Taking place the day after the first movie, we have the beasts taking on a nearby small town. The survivors of the last movie are back (minus the two bigger actors, who I assume were to expensive to rehire). Along for the ride are a set of new characters to watch and hate. Really, not a lot of likable characters in this one at all. We get more of the stupid nickname/bio stuff, more monster vomit melting people, and more monster cum shots. This time around, there is more of a lowbrow humor than the last, as well as less of the horror element. Part of that is due to actually seeing the creatures better this time around. The movie has a sort of anticlimactic ending, where it all leads up to something that doesn't happen. Still fun, but less than the last entry.
Feast 3: The Happy Finish: Once again, set immediately after the last movie. once again full of bios, vomit melt, and monster semen. Survivors of the last movie, with the requisite surprising return, try to escape town. This time there is the indication that the monsters can be controlled. Kind of an interesting plot element. This movie is also the worst of the bunch. Nearly no horror, almost all camp. I mean, we have an action star who loses his arms and is told to walk it off. Let me reiterate...he loses his arms, survives this, and is told to stop complaining about little things like that. Blech. One thing I had a love/hate relationship with was the ending. It was funny, and random. It also felt like the writers had no idea what to do with the thing, so they tossed some random element in and called it good.
A movie series that started out strong, and lost steam as the movies went along. It could almost have been a Troma series, if the production values and humor had been worse. I like how the movie started with a decent motivation for the monsters (revenge plus primal nature). I like how the first movie feels like a good monster siege with some interesting twists. I do not like how the following movies proceeded to lose that edge in favor of fart and sex jokes. I do not like how the initial revenge motivation just sort of drops off in favor of stereotyped characters and stupid jokes. I sort of like the ending of the last one, in that it makes me laugh when I think of it. But, I also dislike it for making me laugh when I want to be thoughtful or intrigued after a horror movie. overall, i can't say these are worth picking up. Maybe netflix or something if you are bored.
Monday, July 11, 2011
Lost and Found
Vampires. i have loved vampires in all their forms since at least 3rd grade. Probably further back, but that is when I remember becoming obsessed with them. Enough so, I managed to get myself into trouble by writing about vampires at inappropriate times. So, of course, when I heard about the Lost Boys, I knew I had to see it.
The Lost Boys: This is one of my all time favorite movies. So much so, I doubt I can be objective in reviewing it. It has the two Coreys in it, who were my favorite actors (always have loved Feldman more, though). It has vampires. It has music that really works for me in a sick 80's kind of way. It is so ridiculous in places that I should completely hate it, but I can't help but love it more for the faults. I have nothing rally to say other than this is a great movie and a classic example of what a vampire should be.
The Lost Boys: The Tribe: 20 years is too long to wait for a sequel. It is also, apparently, to long for anyone to be able to keep said sequel interesting. Instead of a follow up to the original, we get some sort of strange surfer vampire thing taking place in the same small town at the original. Feldman is back, doing the same character (though the voice is now just stupid). We get Keifer Sutherland's half-brother playing a role, so there is more of a connection to the original. Really, all this movie has going for it is that Autumn Reeser is pretty hot. Otherwise, not that great.
The Lost Boys: The Thirst: Thankfully, the last sequel (so far). this takes place, I am assuming, before the last one. Hard to tell. It seems to imply an earlier time, but also could easily be a later one. I dunno. We get raving vampires this time, with some blood-as-ecstasy drug stuff. In this movie, however, we are treated to some fun vampire-hunting equipment, a bit of back story as to why the Frog Brothers no longer hunt, and a loose attempt to open the franchise up for further expansion in non-vamp ways. I did like the sort of twist on the real villain, and the attempt to add new supernatural creatures was a decent idea (even if poorly executed). I liked this better than the last sequel, but think the idea is now dead.
Not a lot to say in summary. Great original, weaker sequels. If they had made the original sequel plan of The Lost Girls, it may have been better. If they had not waited 2 decades to do another movie, they may have been better. If they had not gone direct to video, they may have been better. As it is, the sequels tarnish the awesome of the original and that makes me sad.
The Lost Boys: This is one of my all time favorite movies. So much so, I doubt I can be objective in reviewing it. It has the two Coreys in it, who were my favorite actors (always have loved Feldman more, though). It has vampires. It has music that really works for me in a sick 80's kind of way. It is so ridiculous in places that I should completely hate it, but I can't help but love it more for the faults. I have nothing rally to say other than this is a great movie and a classic example of what a vampire should be.
The Lost Boys: The Tribe: 20 years is too long to wait for a sequel. It is also, apparently, to long for anyone to be able to keep said sequel interesting. Instead of a follow up to the original, we get some sort of strange surfer vampire thing taking place in the same small town at the original. Feldman is back, doing the same character (though the voice is now just stupid). We get Keifer Sutherland's half-brother playing a role, so there is more of a connection to the original. Really, all this movie has going for it is that Autumn Reeser is pretty hot. Otherwise, not that great.
The Lost Boys: The Thirst: Thankfully, the last sequel (so far). this takes place, I am assuming, before the last one. Hard to tell. It seems to imply an earlier time, but also could easily be a later one. I dunno. We get raving vampires this time, with some blood-as-ecstasy drug stuff. In this movie, however, we are treated to some fun vampire-hunting equipment, a bit of back story as to why the Frog Brothers no longer hunt, and a loose attempt to open the franchise up for further expansion in non-vamp ways. I did like the sort of twist on the real villain, and the attempt to add new supernatural creatures was a decent idea (even if poorly executed). I liked this better than the last sequel, but think the idea is now dead.
Not a lot to say in summary. Great original, weaker sequels. If they had made the original sequel plan of The Lost Girls, it may have been better. If they had not waited 2 decades to do another movie, they may have been better. If they had not gone direct to video, they may have been better. As it is, the sequels tarnish the awesome of the original and that makes me sad.
Sunday, July 10, 2011
Head of the Class
My introduction to a Troma movie series. I have seen Troma movies before, but never an entire franchise. Kind of sorry I did it now.
Class of Nuke 'Em High: The first movie in the series shows a school that is close to a nuclear reactor, and those prone to outbreaks of bad shit happening. Due to a leak in the reactor, the school is irradiated. Due to a cover-up, nobody figures it out. Even when the chess club become crazy punk bikers or a nerd melts in class. The hero and his girl end up getting sick as well, which causes a mutant child and a case of extreme 'roid rage. The movie has a bit of humor to it, but is mostly plaid straight for the violence and nasty gore/goo. Forgettable enough, I don't remember the ending.
Class of Nuke 'Em High 2: Subhumanoid Meltdown: Now we get stupid. While the first was mostly a straight up horror kind of thing, this is pure camp. We have bad puns, bad plot, and bad acting. The old high school is now a college. Nuclear and genetic experiments are still going on. We get some sort of attempt at a plot with the introduction of subhumanoids, which are pretty much people with mouths where their navels should be who also have a habit of melting down into fuzzballs with mouths. Yeah, dumb.
Class of Nuke 'Em High 3: The Good, the Bad and the Subhumanoid: The sequel to the last, which follows up with more of the same. If anything, this is even more stupid. Now the hero from the first plays both his original character and that character's 10 year old son (who has grown up to a 20-something man in those 10 years). The "kid" falls in love with his wet nurse, who is a dumb blonde that leaks water from her mouth as a joke on the wet nurse thing. The movie is peppered with ridiculous sound effects, more bad jokes, and even less of a plot. I actually hate myself for watching this one at all.
Overall, the original isn't bad. Not a great movie, but worth watching if you have nothing better to do. Beyond that, I cannot recommend highly enough that you avoid the sequels unless you like low-brow trashy movies. Which, if you are watching Troma, you probably do.
Class of Nuke 'Em High: The first movie in the series shows a school that is close to a nuclear reactor, and those prone to outbreaks of bad shit happening. Due to a leak in the reactor, the school is irradiated. Due to a cover-up, nobody figures it out. Even when the chess club become crazy punk bikers or a nerd melts in class. The hero and his girl end up getting sick as well, which causes a mutant child and a case of extreme 'roid rage. The movie has a bit of humor to it, but is mostly plaid straight for the violence and nasty gore/goo. Forgettable enough, I don't remember the ending.
Class of Nuke 'Em High 2: Subhumanoid Meltdown: Now we get stupid. While the first was mostly a straight up horror kind of thing, this is pure camp. We have bad puns, bad plot, and bad acting. The old high school is now a college. Nuclear and genetic experiments are still going on. We get some sort of attempt at a plot with the introduction of subhumanoids, which are pretty much people with mouths where their navels should be who also have a habit of melting down into fuzzballs with mouths. Yeah, dumb.
Class of Nuke 'Em High 3: The Good, the Bad and the Subhumanoid: The sequel to the last, which follows up with more of the same. If anything, this is even more stupid. Now the hero from the first plays both his original character and that character's 10 year old son (who has grown up to a 20-something man in those 10 years). The "kid" falls in love with his wet nurse, who is a dumb blonde that leaks water from her mouth as a joke on the wet nurse thing. The movie is peppered with ridiculous sound effects, more bad jokes, and even less of a plot. I actually hate myself for watching this one at all.
Overall, the original isn't bad. Not a great movie, but worth watching if you have nothing better to do. Beyond that, I cannot recommend highly enough that you avoid the sequels unless you like low-brow trashy movies. Which, if you are watching Troma, you probably do.
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
Monday, May 10, 2010
A Tale of Two Lists (Part Two)
So, in the first part of this post, I mentioned my goal of watching the 100 best movies. Both lists.
Well, once I finish that, I am going to work my way through the worst movies. This will be harder to do for a couple reasons. First of all, the worst movies will not be easy to watch for the simple fact that they are so bad. I may end up going crazy trying to watch these, or may get so bored or disgusted I turn the movies off. Hopefully I can power through that.
The other reason it will not be easy is that it is not easy to find lists of the worst movies ever made. The American Film Institute certainly doesn't have reason to compile such a list. I did look at IMDB, but their list changes constantly, and is full of foreign movies I cannot access. So, I turned to Wikipedia. By combining the list of Golden Raspberry Winners and the list of the worst films ever, I managed to compile a list of 60 movies that are generally considered the worst. Of these, I have seen two already, with a handful of the nominees (which are not part of my list at this time).
Along with this, sort of as a fun little diversion between the two herculean tasks, I am adding in a list of the 23 Strangest Movies that I stumbled upon a while back. Seems like it would be a fun thing to do. I have already seen a few of these as well, though will need to rewatch some of them since it has been a while.
Big picture, by the end of this experience, I will have seen the 123 best, 23 strangest, and 60 worst movies of all time. A total of 206 movies, comprising the opposite ends of the spectrum. At that point, I think I can officially call myself a movie buff.
Well, once I finish that, I am going to work my way through the worst movies. This will be harder to do for a couple reasons. First of all, the worst movies will not be easy to watch for the simple fact that they are so bad. I may end up going crazy trying to watch these, or may get so bored or disgusted I turn the movies off. Hopefully I can power through that.
The other reason it will not be easy is that it is not easy to find lists of the worst movies ever made. The American Film Institute certainly doesn't have reason to compile such a list. I did look at IMDB, but their list changes constantly, and is full of foreign movies I cannot access. So, I turned to Wikipedia. By combining the list of Golden Raspberry Winners and the list of the worst films ever, I managed to compile a list of 60 movies that are generally considered the worst. Of these, I have seen two already, with a handful of the nominees (which are not part of my list at this time).
Along with this, sort of as a fun little diversion between the two herculean tasks, I am adding in a list of the 23 Strangest Movies that I stumbled upon a while back. Seems like it would be a fun thing to do. I have already seen a few of these as well, though will need to rewatch some of them since it has been a while.
Big picture, by the end of this experience, I will have seen the 123 best, 23 strangest, and 60 worst movies of all time. A total of 206 movies, comprising the opposite ends of the spectrum. At that point, I think I can officially call myself a movie buff.
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